Skylar's Diary - Day 41

It was a nice day today, Dear Diary. What am I saying, it was a super marvelous wonderful day. The weekend had started, and I was going to spend the whole day with Raven, shopping. Splendid, shopping, with Raven. And not only with her!

I was in an incredibly good mood this morning. Yesterday was such a liberating day. I think yesterday my ideal world was finally born, and today I was more aware of it.  And I was enjoying it. I sang as I walked through the house.

"Look who's so cheerful today," Mother said.

I kept singing, and gave her a big hug.

Before I left, I put on makeup, all by myself, but I let my mother check me out. She only made some small corrections to my eyes. Eyes are difficult.

I left the house, wearing shorts, a short top, and a shirt. Similar to what I wore when Riley taught me how to shop. I also wore the black flats I bought with Riley in the first week. So this was me, out on the street, alone, in a girl's outfit. Another victory. It was still a bit exciting, but I also felt free. I walked up to Raven's house, and at times I even hopped. That's something I should do with Raven, I thought.

She opened the door, and I cuddled her firmly. A bit too firm, she thought, but she could laugh with it. We left for the city center, and I grabbed her hand. "Come on, let's hop," I said. You don't have to ask Raven twice. I behaved like a girl, I felt like a girl, and that's what people probably also saw: two hopping girls.

"And what do you need?" Raven asked.

"A lot of everything: skirts, tops, socks, tights, underwear, something for brunch tomorrow, and something for Monday at school.”

"Wow, and all that in one day? And does your mother approve?"

"She's happy for me."

"I wish my mother would let me do so much shopping too."

"I can imagine, but I have a lot of catching up to do."

"That is true. And actually, it's also for me that we will shop.”

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you can borrow things from me too, can't you?"

"Ah, I know what you mean, but I want to wear everything myself first."

"You are as girly as can be." And she gave me a kiss, on the cheek.

"What's your first plan?" she asked.

"A simple skirt, with a simple top. Something I can keep on today."

All embarrassment was gone. We entered the first shop, a large shop with lots of choice. I tried some skirts, and I stood in front of the mirror, even though other people, mostly girls and women, were walking around. By behaving like a girl, I don't think anyone would think I was a boy either. The choice was made pretty quickly: a green miniskirt and a white T-shirt with short wide sleeves. Rather casual. So I wasn't picky, because I would buy several things anyway today. 

And that's how I walked the streets. In my own city. Full of confidence, upright, and cheerful.

Of course there was a risk that I would meet someone I know, but to be honest, that was something I was hoping for. Everyone knows about it now anyway. And after some shops where we had bought some smaller stuff (hairpins, socks and jolly underwear), it happened. Raven saw someone from our class.

"Hey, there's Summer!"

Just a few days ago I would have tried to hide, and even now my heart was beating a bit faster, but I had enough courage. Of course Summer immediately saw that I was wearing a skirt. She laughed, but in a friendly way.

"So, Skylar, are you already practicing for Monday?"

"I've been practicing for a some time, you know!"

"Nice skirt by the way, did you just buy it?"

"Yes"

"I understand you so well, Skylar. For me, it's really not a big deal. Why shouldn't boys be allowed to wear all the nice things we wear? I think you're a much more interesting person right now."

"Oh thanks"

It was nice of her to say that, but not that surprising. If anyone in my class would be open to this, it would be Summer. She has always been more unconventional. Some people think she's weird, but I like her. Especially after what she just said. She was also wearing a miniskirt, but what struck me most was her very long white coat, and a funny hat.

"We are shopping for Skylar today. His wardrobe still needs to be expanded," said Raven.

"How cool is that! Can I help?"

“Of course!” said Raven, while I was thinking it.

And suddenly I had two girlfriends who would help me shop. What a luxury.

A longer skirt, that's the next thing I wanted. One that is more voluminous, and that sways and makes me twirl. We found a nice skirt, actually it consists of two skirts in light fabric on top of each other. A green pleated skirt, with a wider skirt in a lighter color on top, and a bow with long ribbons in the same color. I put the miniskirt in the shopping bag, and kept the new skirt on. (Sorry to bother you so much with all my purchases, Dear Diary, but I'm just so excited!!!!)

"Will you be wearing that skirt to school on Monday?"  Summer asked.

"Hmm, I don't know yet. I had something else in mind."

"What then?"

"Something more basic. I don't want to stand out too much. I do have a skirt in mind, but without bare legs. Maybe a pleated skirt with tights. That looks a bit like a school uniform. And I still have to make up my mind on what I’ll wear on top of it."

"We'll help you."

It took a few shops before we figured it out, but we were pleased. Eventually we combined a tartan pleated skirt with black tights, a simple white shirt with long sleeves, and a dark brown knitted sleeveless tank top. You can see it on Monday, Dear Diary.

"Who has seen you already in girl's outfit?" Summer asked.

Luckily I had kept track of all that, so I could list them all.

"But who from school?"

"Besides Raven? Brandon, unfortunately. And you today."

"And Devon, your best friend, not yet?"

"No"

"Maybe you should show yourself to him like that," said Summer, "so he can get used to it. He's a good friend of yours, Skylar, because he's really stood up for you in class. I really appreciated that. But I think you need to prepare him a little bit."

"Summer is right, Skylar," said Raven, "perhaps you can call him."

I pondered for a moment. I thought it was a good idea. Everyone can see me like this now, but maybe the most important people first. I also thought of something else. Devon has a crush on Summer for some time now. That could persuade him to come.

"You know what? Let's have lunch with the four of us later," I suggested.

They liked that idea. I called Devon and explained everything to him. I asked if he would like to see me during girl time. He hesitated a bit, but when I said that Summer would be there as well, his doubts disappeared. So that was settled.

"And what are you going to wear if Devon is with us?"

I had to think about that. Not my school outfit yet. That’s for Monday. One of my new skirts? Is a possibility, but the tops are still quite common.

"I know a nice little shop," said Summer. We went there, and as I expected from Summer, the clothes were less mainstream, but I thought that was fine. I bought another skirt (now I had three, that was enough for today), another T-shirt (also enough), but most of all the long knitted cardigan was special, which fell out longer than the skirt. A bit like Summer’s outfit. And it had a fluffy collar, lovely and girly.

This was a nice outfit to face Devon. And I also envision myself going to school wearing it.

Summer, Raven and I were already at the place we had planned to meet when Devon arrived. It was funny to see that Devon seemed more nervous than I was. You could tell from his face that he didn't know what to think about it, but I didn't blame him for that.

"Erm... what should I say now? That you're wearing a nice outfit? Or that you look good?"

"Relax, Devon, you don't have to try too hard. Let's just have a good time together."

"You seem happier than usual today," he said, and that was right. The boy in me would hold back, and be more concerned with coming across as cool. The girl in me is more cheerful, and today I let her out (and tomorrow, and the day after, and...). Although I have to admit that it was a bit more challenging in the presence of Devon. With Summer and Raven I was not concerned too much about what I was doing and saying, and how, but with Devon I became more aware of the shift I'm going through. After a while he had noticed it too.

"I have to say, Skylar, and don't get me wrong, but you're not only dressed differently, you also behave differently.

"What do you mean?"

"What you say, and how you say it, your attitude, your gestures, your body language,... how would I put it? I see a girl's version of Skylar."

"And isn't he cute?" Raven intervened.

"Well, it's not up to me to find him cute. It's just... I have to get used to it."

Then Summer said, "But you proved at school, Devon, that you're a real friend of Skylar. He's really happy now, and I actually like him better than before, and without your support that might not have been possible."

I know Devon well enough to know that those words meant a lot to him, especially when Summer says them.

"Thank you, Summer, but I guess I couldn't do anything else as a friend."

"Have you ever considered doing anything girly?" That question from Summer got him a little confused.

"Erm... what do you mean? That I would be wearing a skirt too?"

"Yes, why not? There's nothing wrong with that."

Devon was checkmated. He couldn't be offended, because then he wouldn't make a good impression on Summer. But he couldn't pretend that that wouldn't be a big deal for him either, because then he would be lying. He tried to come up with an excuse.

"Maybe, but I don't have a Raven, like Skylar."

"Oh, but I do want to be your Raven," said Summer. Raven and I were bursting into laughter. That was very candid of Summer. Devon was still confused, and laughed shyly.

"Sorry, Devon, I shouldn't have teased you like that," said Summer.

"It's okay," replied Devon.

A little later, after lunch, Raven asked Summer: "Is it okay that Skylar and I continue shopping now?" And she winked at her. I could see that, but Devon couldn't.

"Oh, no, you go ahead. Devon, do you want to stay a while?"

He couldn't say no to that, and so we left them behind, in the quiet hope that something beautiful would start to grow.

"Do you already know what you will wear tomorrow?" Raven asked.

"Anyway something I bought today, because I want to be dressed in new clothes."

"That's my girl..."

"That green double skirt maybe?"

"That's a possibility, but then I'd put on a more sophisticated top. Shall we look around a bit more?"

"That's fine."

An hour later we walked past a thrift shop, and Raven saw a nice dress in the shop window.

"Oh my God, look at that beautiful dress, Skylar! Really something for you!"

I liked it too, but I said I didn't have a dress on my shopping list.

"Ah, your list... You can't miss that chance, Skylar, because they're only going to have one such dress. At least try it on."

Raven's enthusiasm was hard to ignore, so I went to try it on.

"That's it," said Raven.

It did indeed fit me, and it was still a beautiful dress. It was a short white sleeveless dress (with a few ruffles on the shoulders) with a floral print and a big red bow. And it wasn't even expensive.

"I don't have any shoes for that," I tried to hold off for a while.

"Oh, but I have red shoes that will fit perfectly, you can borrow them. And then later I can borrow that dress from you, because if it fits you, it will fit me as well."

Her plan was clearly all made up.

And suddenly she whispered in my ear. "And do you know what to wear underneath?  That lingerie set Riley gave you. I'm really curious how you would look with breasts."

I thought I wouldn't be shy anymore, but now I was blushing anyway.

"You're a naughty girl."

"No, you are a naughty girl."

Oh yes, and that nightdress, Dear Diary. We didn't make it to buy a new one, but my mother gave me an old one of hers. It’s a bit old-fashioned, but I like it. It’s so soft and light, and the perfect nightdress to prepare for tomorrow.

To: Skylar's Diary - Day 42