Skylar's Diary - Day 33

The day at school started well. Raven and I spent some time together before the classes began. We have more and more secrets that we share, especially since yesterday. Fine memories that stay between us. Memories that bring us closer together. However, I have been a bit mad at her today...

At the end of the first break Raven came to me.

"Skylar, I did something stupid."

"What happened?"

"Promise me first that you won't be angry."

"Raven, now you worry me."

"OK, please sit down. I have something to tell you. Just a moment ago, after Mrs. Liang's lesson, I kept talking to her for a while. I told her about the wedding, and I wanted to show some pictures. My intention was to show only pictures of me, but while I was swiping there was also a picture with the two of us. I saw it right away, and swiped on quickly, but it was too late. Mrs. Liang had recognized you."

"Raven, you can't be serious. How could you do this to me?"

"I'm very sorry. I was just enthusiastic. I just wanted to show what I looked like. I'm really, really sorry."

"Raven, this really upsets me."

"I understand that, Skylar. I've been stupid."

"And what is Mrs. Liang supposed to think now?"

"Well, I explained it to her."

"What? Did you tell her everything?"

"Yes, Skylar. I think that was for the best. I couldn't think of anything else. But I told her that you did it to please the bridal couple. I didn't say anything about how much you liked it, nor about the party and the dancing."

"And what did Mrs. Liang say?"

"She loved what you did very much. She said that you are a very kind and special boy."

"But now it's no longer a secret. Who knows who else she's going to tell?"

"You shouldn't worry about that. I told her that you don't want everyone to know about it, and she understood."

"I hope I can trust her."

"I'm sure you can."

"I hope so."

"Skylar?"

"Yes?"

"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to do this to you. Are you mad at me now?"

She looked at me with a sincerely sad face. She was also a bit upset.

"You're lucky," I said.

"Why?"

"You're lucky I can't be mad at you for long. It only lasted five seconds."

"Silly. It's going to be all right, you know." And then she hugged me firmly.

During the following classes I was not able to pay attention. My thoughts remained with the picture Raven had shown to Mrs. Liang. Another person who knows my secret. And who knows, maybe more stupid things will happen. I could no longer bear that uncertainty. I had to do something. I made a plan. And it had to come into effect quickly. Part 1 of the plan: make an appointment with Mrs. Liang. Part 2 of the plan: talk to Devon. Part 3 of the plan: punish Raven. In a sweet way.

After class I immediately asked Devon to have lunch with me. Just the two of us. Fine, he said.

I then quickly walked to the teacher's room, and asked for Mrs. Liang. In addition to being our English teacher, she is also our counselor. I asked if I could meet her for about half an hour next week. “You know the reason,” I said. She smiled and said "Of course I want to talk to you, Skylar. In all confidence."

I walked to Raven, and told her that I would have lunch with Devon. "Have I been punished?" she asked, with cute kitten eyes. "Oh no, this is not your punishment yet. I want you to stay after school." "Please don't spank me, teacher." "Go away, silly."

Devon

And then came the hardest part. Lunch with Devon. My plan was to tell him everything in all honesty, and that's what I did. From the beginning. About Riley. About all the things I did with Riley, and why. About shorts, tops, skirts, dresses, shoes and makeup. About my initial resistance, about my acceptance. That I started to like it. About my first embarrassing encounter with Raven. About the wedding, in all details. That I did it for the bridal couple, but also for myself. I wanted to try it, and I had enjoyed it.

Devon didn't say much, and he listened to my story with amazement. I think I said so many strange things so suddenly, that he didn't know how to react.

"So... that dress I found in your room..."

"That story was true, Devon. I never lied to you. Raven had bought it for me. What I didn't tell you is that I like to wear it."

"But what does all this mean, Skylar? Would you like to be a girl?"

"That's the wrong question, Devon. I remember when you said at my house 'Boys are boys, and girls are girls', and I understand what you meant by it, but it doesn't make any sense to me. It's a false choice."

"That's a fuzzy statement. So what do you really want?"

"I want to try everything that is denied to boys. Everything that girls are allowed to do, I want to do as well."

"And what does Raven think of that?"

"Raven loves that. That's why she likes me so much. She helps me with many things."

"What a bizarre girl."

"She's a wonderful girl."

"But if this comes out, Skylar..."

"I know. Then I have a major problem. It can't come out, so I don't want you to tell anyone about it."

"Then why do you tell me?"

"Because you are my best friend. And I want you to know this. Maybe one day there will be problems, and at least you will know what has happened."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Be my best friend, as always, nothing else."

"I will remain your best friend, but I don't know what to make of all of your story."

"I understand that, Devon, I really do. It took me a lot of time myself to understand what is happening."

"Are you going to wear a skirt the next time you hang out with me?"

I thought it was funny what Devon asked, but he was serious.

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable, Devon. Besides, I don't go out on the street during girl time."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, you have to be yourself, and I have to support you in that. It's just... I have to get very used to that idea."

"You will, Devon."

After school Raven was waiting for me. "Do you still make me stay after school, Skylar?"

"Yes, you'll get your punishment now."

"Please don't punish me too hard."

"Tomorrow we're going to Riley's party, and I have nothing to wear yet. As a punishment you have to go shopping with me now."

"What a lovely punishment!" Raven shouted, and she hugged me. What she did not know yet was that I was going to exhaust her.

"Do you know what you're looking for?" she asked.

"I have a sketchy idea."

"The first question is, of course. Are you going as a boy or as a girl?"

"More girl than boy. I want to wear a pretty skirt."

"So bold. Would Riley want that, you think?"

"She doesn't request this, of course. That's how she is. But I'm sure she would appreciate it."

"Are you doing it to please her?"

"Partly. But also to do myself a favor."

"And how do you see the whole of your outfit?"

"I don't want to exaggerate in girliness. Maybe a nice pullover or something. And another cool element."

"Have you ever tried boots before?"

"No, not really, but aren't they going to be expensive?"

"We could go look in a thrift shop. Sometimes you can find real bargains there."

"Yes, but first the skirt. Or else I won’t know which boots to choose."

"That’s my smart girl."

We always used the same strategy. We went into a shop together, looked at all the skirts, judged together, made a selection, and then went to the fitting rooms. If anyone came to ask, we would pretend it was for Raven. But it was me who entered the cubicles and fitted the skirts. Meanwhile, Raven had to watch out, to make sure that I wasn't caught. If I was wearing a skirt, she could take a look in the cubicle, and comment on it. We already found a nice skirt in the first shop, and Raven wanted me to buy it.

"No, Raven, we don't know yet if this is the best buy."

"So what's your plan?"

"We'll do a few more shops, and then we'll decide."

I had prepared myself mentally for this. I wanted to do as many shops as possible. And the scenario was repeated. Shop by shop. Of course, I got a little tired of it too, but I pretended to have all the energy in the world. And of course Raven got tired too.

"How many more shops do you want to do?" she said.

"At least three more."

"You're exhausting me."

"You've been punished."

And she gave me a slap. No hard slap. A sweet slap.

After the umpteenth shop I said: "I've made a decision."

"Finally. What will it be?"

"The skirt of the first shop."

"Skylar, you gotta be kidding me. I told you then already to buy it. All that work for nothing."

"No, not for nothing. Now we're at least sure that we've made the best buy."

"OK, you won this contest in femininity, but now I want to rest."

We went to grab a bite to eat, and didn't have much time to buy boots, but we were lucky. In the first thrift shop we found the boots I needed pretty quickly. They fitted me, and matched the skirt. I didn't have anything for the top yet, but Raven said she had a nice knitted pullover that would fit perfectly with my outfit. So, that was taken care of. I took Raven to her home, and agreed with her that she would first come to my house tomorrow afternoon.

Tomorrow night is Riley's party. I look forward to it, but with a bit of apprehension.

To: Skylar's Diary - Day 34